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30 March 2008 @ 10:17 pm
the voices  
i have to report a singular occurance. if the creature is real then i will now have to summon it alone. tonya offered me help, but not knowledge, and after i sent her that email telling her to either leave me alone about moira or leave, i do not expect that i can count on her help. since i will not be able, apparently, to summon it by ritual, i decided to summon it in another way. i retired to my video game room, which doubles as my meditation space, in order to meditate and try to summon it without the aid of ritual. after relaxing myself and laying there for a time, i became aware of voices. what there origin is i do not know. what it sounded like was dozens of voices babbling at once. i found that if i concentrated, i could make out isolated phrases, which would make no sense. i do not know where they came from, but i listened without trying to control them. after a few minutes of this, these voices which were not voices, or at least did not arrive in my head via my ears, i addressed the voices with my thoughts and addressed the cacophany and told it to bring me the creature or bring the creature to me or something like that. no sooner than i had done so than three of the voices answered me, in almost a comical fashion. each voice was slightly higher pitched than the one that preceeded it, and i cannot recall what the first voies said. the second one said "we can". the third one said "we will". At this point, I became aware of a deep buzzing sound. it took a few moments to sink in, but when it occured to me what it must be it brought me back to full consciousness immediately and i jumped out of the chair and got behind it very quickly indeed. IT was a deep buzzing sound, and the only thing i've heard that sounds remotely like it are those huge japanese hornets. I waited, ready to run at the slightest sign of the insect, in a quite paranoid manner, but the buzzing which had stopped the moment i jumped up did not start again and though i looked i saw no sign of anything making it. nothing flying, buzzing or crawling.

Under the circumstances, im not certian it was an insect at all. tomorrow I will devote some time to discovering whether it was or not. but even if i do find a hornet, which would not be exactly unreasonable, there are always some that get in each year, it's a little too coincidental. It's also worrying taht those voices answered me. I do know they were not voices that i created, at least not intentionally. And when i first noticed them it was like noticing something that was there all along that youd just never seen. but the memory of the whole thing acts like a dream. i can tell you what happened but i cant remember the details. until the voices answered me, it was just like being in a large crowded room overhearing dozens of overlapping conversations at once. umm... anyway. faded. like a dream, other than the 'we can, we will'.
thus, I have recorded this as it happened, the time being approximately 10:30 pm.